Friday, September 30, 2005

The Suspense is Killing Me!

Today was the weather I love... rainy, rainy, rainy! I just love that!

We went to town this morning and I had my blood test. We then has breakfast at Koho's with my parents which was fun and then headed back home.

I had been waiting for the answer to our blood test ALL DAY and then my nurse told me that they didn't have the results in yet and I'll find out tomorrow morning! ARGH! The Suspense!!!

So I tried to cheat and take a home pregnancy test, but I couldn't understand the answer. It was weird. The instructions said that a - means negative and a + means positive. Well I got an | so that doesn't make any sense now does it? So that just made me more frustrated.

To take my mind off of it I cleaned out the entire pantry. I didn't realize how much crap we had in there - expired things, empty things, ect... TWO big rubbish bags I had to throw away. But now it's organized and I can actually SEE the things that are in there. Peter will be surprised when he gets home from work.

Welps, I'm gonna go watch some TV now. I'm just trying to do things that take my mind off the suspense....

Soon we'll know...

It's almost midnight and I am so nervous about tomorrow. I'm going for my final blood test tomorrow morning and should know if the IVF worked either tomorrow afternoon or Saturday morning.

I am SO NERVOUS. I'm just in a daze right now. I don't know whether to feel excited or petrified.

The last few days have been interesting - I lost my wallet (or it was stollen) and so I had to take care of all the missing credit cards and I had some traveler's checks. The thing I want back most is the wallet itself. It was a gift from Peter for Christmas about six years ago and I loved it. I already checked with all the lost and found and nobody turned it in.

Peter flew to Honolulu yesterday and signed the paperwork for the STI. I was very proud of myself because the original financing was 7%APR and I got a 5.75%APR which lowered the payments quite a bit. Yay! Sometimes it's good to shop around.

Well we're going to take the dogs out for a walk and then head to bed. I don't know if I'll be able to sleep very well.... we'll see. I have butterflies in my stomach - it's either going to work or not. It's like anticipating Christmas and you don't know if you'll be getting everything you've wanted, or a big empty box.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

The Scooby's Coming!



Peter is a very happy man. His 2006 White Subaru STi "Scooby" is in! So he's flying to Honolulu tomorrow to sign the papers. He's been so excited all day.

Tomorrow is our first beta blood test. I'm bummed though because I only find out the results for Friday's beta. I AM SO NERVOUS. The Progesterone and Estrogen together make me exhausted all day long. I don't feel like cleaning, I don't feel like doing much of anything. Argh.

So we have to wake up SUPER early tomorrow so we can go to Diagnostic Labs in Wailuku at 7:30am for my blood test and then it's on to Krispey Kreme to pick up doughnuts for the car salesmen (a special request) and I think I might have one as well - and then I'll drop Peter off at the airport. I'll probably go out to Haiku to hang out or something.... someone has to give me my shot at noon.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

A Rough Couple of Days

Hey all...

I'm such a dork - I only now realized that people have left comments for me. So I read them last night and I just wanted to say a big MAHALO to you guys for sending me comments to keep my spirits up. =)

We're having a heat wave or something right now which is making it humid and miserable. I think I am at my whiniest point. It feels like the hormone alien has taken over my body.

I started Estradiol patches today. I get two patches put onto my belly every other day and the estrogen is absorbed into my body through the skin. So right now I am on Progesterone and the addition of estrogen makes me that much more crazy. I feel so bad for Peter. I was sitting on the couch this morning whining because I couldn't get the remote control to work and he came out to help me and I was like "Get me this" or "Get me that". And the hormones give me cravings too - I've been on a chicken noodle soup and chocolate chip cookie kick. It's wierd.

So yeah... I've been really moody today and yesterday. I'm getting through it and hope that it's all worth is and we get the positive blood test we're hoping for.

Friday, September 23, 2005

A Piece of Heaven


This was the view from our room. It was amazing.

This particular sunset reminded me that miracles happen everyday.

Three Amigos become the Dynamic Duo

I've been on bedrest since Monday and flew back home today. I'm so glad to be back home with the doggies!

On Monday morning I flew out to Honolulu with my dad and we drove out to Castle. My poor dad was such a trooper. He came in the exam room with me and stayed right next to me through the entire transfer. We learned that one of the three embryos hadn't made it through the weekend and so Dr. Vu only had two embryos to transfer. One had divided into an 8 cell and one a 6 cell. Dr. Vu gave it a 35% chance of working.

So after that we drove out to Koolina and dad and I had a great time just hanging out and talking story. We ordered tons of room service and watched a lot of tv! It was really great because I hadn't spent so much time with my dad in a really long time. Dad left on Wednesday morning and Peter flew in for the last two days of bedrest.

It's been an interesting few days because I've been toying with so many emotions. I want to be really positive that both embryos (well at least one) are still doing ok, but on the other hand, I don't want to build myself up so much only to totally fall apart if this doesn't work. So I go through different phases throughout the day.

At this point, there's really no way of knowing either way. I have a blood test on September 28 and 30 and should know shortly thereafter if it took or not.

The important thing is that Peter has made it perfectly clear that regardless of the results, he loves me very much and nothing can change that. So that is always refreshing to hear. =)

It's a muggy, muggy day over here right now.... the AC is running in the bedroom and waiting for me. =)

Lub lub,

Mariah

Saturday, September 17, 2005

The Three Amigo's

The doctor's office called this morning and said that three of our ten eggs fertilized - so we have Three little embryo's waiting for us.

I'll be honest and say I was expecting a bit more as I had hoped to freeze some - but like Peter said - all we need is one to take! So I'm maintaining a positive attitude. =) I hope Dr. Vu will let us transfer all three.

The transfer was supposed to be on Wednesday 9/21, but because of my low numbers we're going to do it on Monday 9/19 instead. So today I spent time changing my flights around - a $150 penalty - argh. But at this point, the money I'm spending to achieve this precious goal doesn't matter one little bit.

So my dad is coming with me on Monday and will stay with me Monday and Tuesday nights. Then Peter is coming out on Wednesday (since that's the time he had already arranged to have off from work). So it'll be good. We're staying out at the Ihilani in Kapolei again. Honolulu is PACKED because of Aloha Week and we couldn't find a decent hotel out there. But that's fine because the Ihilani is beautiful and quiet.

So.... our three little amigos are in a petrie dish at the moment. Isn't that crazy? Peter and I looked at each other last night like "Can you believe our baby could be right there in that dish?" What a trip!

I am still VERY sore today from yesterday's transfer. I am only allowed to take Tylenol, and when it wears off, the pain really sucks. My abdomen is also really bloated. I could barely fasten the seatbelt on the airplane. I can only wear stretchy pants.... se la vie.

I may be MIA for a while as I don't have a laptop to take to Honolulu withe me but I'll have Peter post updates while he's still on Maui.

Ta ta for now....

Eggies are Out...

Hey it's Mariah again. Peter was so nice to jump on here with the update while I wasn't feeling up to it.

I am still a bit sore, but doing good. So now it's a waiting game to see how many of our ten egglets will mature. I'm hoping that at least five are top grade embryos because I would love to freeze some, ya know?

We decided to stay on Oahu an extra night at Floyd and Rowena's because it hurts for me to walk and move around too much. So we're going home tomorrow and will give the pups a bath. =)

We should hear from doctor Vu's office tomorrow withe a preliminary report on the status of our fertilized eggs.

So I'm remaining very positive that this is going to work. I think the next two weeks will be the hardest - WAITING!

Nighty night....

Friday, September 16, 2005

Herro, Peter here!!!

Hey, its my first time to post on this blogger thingy!!

Well, Mariah just got done with the egg retrieval today, got 10 eggs.....woo hoo!!!! We find out tomorrow when the transfer is gonna be. Were hopeing for the 5 day transfer to happen. Keepin the finger crossed.

Well were just relaxin' at Floyd and Rowena's house right now, we might stay an extra night if M-Diddy isn't feeling well. My work place has been pretty understanding in giving me extra days off so one more day off wouldn't be a problem.

Big thanks to Floyd and Rowena for letting us stay at there house for this overnighter. Almost like back in the day when Aris guys lived on Oahu and James and I would come stay over. Oh wellz den, I goin go now. Peace out Peter aka P-Shizzel


p.s. my bad for any grammical errors =)

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

The Running Theme is....

It seems to be the running theme is me feeling crappy.

I couldn't get a flight out of Kapalua today so I went out of Kahului and had to get up way too early *argh*. I picked up my rental car (Yay Enterprise!) and took a different route to the doctors office for a change of scenery.

I took the H3 freeway and it was so beautiful. It was like driving through Iao valley. It rained a little bit, but it was a beautiful drive. When I got to Castle Hospital, there was no damn parking. I circled that lot for a good 20 minutes before I called Peter on his cell phone practically in tears and frustrated. Then I finally got a space. By the time I made it to the office, I was already feeling pretty yucky.

The ultrasound went great - the ovaries and follicles are doing great and we're all set for our egg retrieval on Friday morning. I had one more 300iu shot of Gonal-F today and that will be my last one. Since it was the last one though, it sure made sure to kick my ass. haha

So tonight I have an HCG shot and then start the Progesterone shots tomorrow. Now these shots are very different because the needles are 1.5 inches long and go right into the buttocks. So the nurse so kindly drew some bullseyes on my butt for Peter! *LMAO* Pretty funny. I'll be on the Progesterone for a while because that's going to make my uterus a very nice, soft, welcoming place for the eggies.

My flight coming home was delayed by an hour, and by that time I had taken the Gonal-F and just wanted to die right there in the airport I was feeling so bad. The terminal was packed so there weren't any chairs to lay down on. But I finally did make it back to Maui and proceeded to take a nap at Nana's house. I don't know what would have happened if I couldn't have taken that nap. It saved my day!

Peter and I will be back Friday afternoon from the egg retrieval. I'm not sure how I'll be feeling so I may wait until Saturday to post (I hope at least someone reads this).

Before I go to bed tonight, I just want to tell my friends Aris and Heidi CONGRATULATIONS on the birth of their little girl, Taylor Nicole, today. I can't wait to meet her....

XOXO

Monday, September 12, 2005

WE HAVE DATES!!!

Yahoo!!! We have dates! I go back to Oahu on Wednesday, but we have our egg retrieval scheduled for Friday the 16th and the transfer for Wednesday the 21st. Which makes it doubly good luck because 21 is a lucky number for me (my birthday and my brother's birthday).

The follicles looked great - they're getting nice and big - about double the size they were on Friday. Which I can definitely FEEL because my abdomen is giant right now. It's really weird.

I did a little shopping which was fun. I bought a Tempurpedic pillow (I almost fell asleep on the bed in the store! haha) and a purse from the Coach Outlet Store. That was a total splurge! It's cute though... I like it.

I am EXHAUSTED today. It seems to be a running theme. I didn't sleep well at all last night. It seems everytime I have to go to the doctors I can't sleep. I guess I'm worried. But doc said everything is going great!

I'm really hungry right now. I don't know what to eat though... we need to go grocery shopping pretty bad.

Ta ta for now!!!

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Worth the Wait & Miracles

I am SO TIRED today. My body feels exhausted even though I haven't done much today. But I don't want to sleep either because then I'll have a hard time sleeping tonight... ugh. There's nothing good on tv either... whaa

Last time I was at the doc's office I was reading a magazine and ran across an ad for these onesies. I HAVE TO HAVE THESE! They are awesome!!
"I was worth the wait"

"I am a miracle"

My soon-to-be nephew has a name now... Pat and Lisa are naming him Landon Jacob - Love it. That's so cute. Peter and I are going to get them a stroller. I've been looking at strollers online but I'm totally stumped as to what kind to get them. I think I'll just have to take Lisa shopping so she can pick one out.

It'll be fun looking at the baby stuff. Oh yeah.... I don't think that I mentioned that if this IVF works this month, the baby's due date is on our 9th anniversary - June 11th. That would mean so much.

Nighty night....

We Have Follicles!!!

LOTS to report...

I went back to Honolulu yesterday. Kaiser offered to pay for one R/T flight, so I flew for free yesterday! Those fares can really add up so I was greatful for that.

It started as a pretty hectic morning. I flew Hawaiian so after I parked the car at the airport I figured I use their Hele On checkin computers to print by boarding pass and head straight up to the gate. I was so irritated because the Hele On 'puter said I was too late to use it (up to 30 minutes before the flight and I was 29 mins before the flight!). So I had to wait in the long ass line and then I was really late. I made the plane though thank goodness.

I rented from Enterprise Rent-A-Car this time. Previously I had rented from Alamo, Hertz, and Dollar. Enterprise is AWESOME. I'll always rent from them. OK this is totally off subject, but I'll tell you the difference. The first time we rented from Alamo. Nothing special - pretty standard. Then we rented from Hertz. When we picked up the car, the lady at the counter was eating potato chips and licking her fingers while handling our drivers license and credit card. She barely said a word... just kept eating. The Dollar lady got mad at me after I said I didn't want insurance and gave me the silent treatment. She practically through the keys at me and didn't even tell me where the damn car was parked. At Enterprise, the shuttle driver was really cool and when I walked in, the manager welcomed me by name and walked me to the counter. They gave me the car I wanted and even came out with me to inspect the car for any damages. I returned the car two hours later after my doc appointment and the woman greeted me by name when I came back and said that since I only had the car for two hours she couldn't charge me for a full day. So she charged me $12. How cool is that! Anyway, I HIGHLY recommend them...

Alright... now on to the doctor appointment! I must have been subconciously nervous the night before because I had terrible sleep. But I had no need to worry because the ultrasound revealed about 10 follicles on each ovary. Doctor said it's progressing exactly how he wanted and we'll end up with 20 - 40 eggs on retrieval day. The follicles are all pretty good size too. I wish I had a picture to share...

I'm downsizing from three shots to two shots daily. Now I get 225 units of the Gonal-F at 12noon. Here's the picture:

And 5 units of Lupron at midnight. Today was my first day at 225 units and BOY CAN I FEEL IT! It's such a weird sensation. It's like I can feel the ovaries or follicles moving around - am I crazy?

I'm heading back again on Monday. I'm going to buy a point and shoot digital camera so I can take pictures of my ultrasound and the clinic and stuff. I really want to have a small camera that I can take everywhere.

Until then...

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

And I thought Lupron made me crazy...

My first day of Gonal-F was on Monday. It was tough because of all days Peter had a DAY SHIFT on Monday! So that meant I had to give MYSELF my first Gonal-F shot. I was so nervous! I've never given myself a shot before!!

So I did it... I accidentally wasted a little, but I did it. It goes right into my belly twice a day. I swear to God that about 10 seconds after the injection I felt it going to work. I felt like I had been hit by a train! My insides are going crazy! AND on top of that I'm getting hot flashes.

I get the Gonal-F at 12 noon and midnight, and the Lupron at midnight only. That's three shots a day. I'm so glad that Peter does them for me because it's really tough to shoot yourself (that sounds funny).

I'm going back to Oahu on Friday for an ultrasound. From then, I'm guessing that the retrieval will be around the 16th or so with the transfer happening five days after that. I'll know more 'for sure' dates once I go over on Friday to see how everything is going.

I've still been really good as far as eating goes. I've been avoiding sugar (except for a massive chocolate chip cookie craving which I've only satisfied a couple times) and completely avoiding caffeine. I've also been wanting a lot of meat. Is that weird?

I've also been having a hard time sleeping. Mostly because of my hot flashes, but also because our bed, which is only about a year and a half old, is sagging in the middle so Peter and I both tend to roll toward the middle and then it's hard to move. I'm trying to convince him that we need a Tempurpedic bed because I've layed on them and they're SO COMFY. We currently have a double bed and I think we'll need to move up to a Queen. And I think baby is going to sleep with us, so a Queen would be good.

Welps, that's all for now... it's 11:50am and I need to have another shot... =P

Saturday, September 03, 2005

I'm really crazy

I really didn't think I would get too crazy on all these medications, but it wasn't until I discovered that I was putting away clean, empty tupperware in the refrigerator that I realized that I really am.

What's really silly is that I have no idea why in the world I was putting away tupperware in the fridge, why I started crying during a commercial on tv, and why I feel so damn tired just taking the trash out.

I keep wanting to be so productive during my time at home. I had visions of keeping a Martha Stewart clean house and making a big feast every night. But then I find myself on the couch too tired to get up to use the bathroom. I look at the dirty kitchen and think, "It can wait". Isn't that terrible?

So I'm still waiting for my period to come around so that I can start the Gonal-F injections. Once it starts I'll have a clear idea of when we need to go back to Honolulu and when I need to book a hotel. I'm kinda bummed that my mom will be on the mainland, but I know that my dad will come with me if I need someone. I just wish I knew all the dates already! Gosh darnit!

OK, well I have a massive headache right now and need to go lay down.

Nighty night...